How to Plan a Party with Your Teen
Creating a social
atmosphere for your teen and their friends can seem daunting. You want to
create a safe environment while giving them space, promote lasting memories
without damaging any valuables, participate in your teen’s enjoyment while
letting them flourish independently, etc. Here are some common questions and
tips that will help you bondwith your teen and plan successful party.
Scale
Finding out how big this
party is going to be is the first step. Let’s start with how many people will
be attending so that you can budget your party accordingly. This is a good
opportunity for your teen to learn management skills and to talk with you about
their friend group. Gauging the size of your guest list can also help you pacify
neighbors with a curfew, avoid unnecessary expenses, and coordinate rides for
concerned parents.
Invitees
Setting up your guest list
ahead of time should be a priority. Workingwith your teen, you canset a maximum
limit so this party doesn’t blow out of proportion. Whether the occasion is
just for friends, your teen’s community service group, or a sports victory
celebration,a headcount can give you important information for preparation.This
includes how much food to buy, dietary restrictions, medical specifications,
and accessibility accommodations.
Understandingwho your teen
will be inviting is also important so they can investigate who among their
friends will make for good company and account for anyone who might feel left
out if they’re not invited. Your teen canlearn organizational skills and how to
manage group dynamics at this juncture by coordinating the invitations
themselves.
Uninvited Guests
It can be uncomfortable for
teens to turn away mutual friends that show up unexpectedly. Whether word got
around to them through gossip or they happened to notice the gathering on
social media, nobody wants to be told, “You weren’t invited.” You can
respectfully turn away surprise add-ons to the guest list by mentioning the
house’s limited capacity, inviting them back another time, citing narrow
resources, or that you can’t allow anyone in that you don’t personally know.These
are honest reasons that remove any personal rejection and save your teen blame
for limiting the number of attendees.
TIMING
Determining when your party
takes place depends on your teen’s age group and what time of the week you’ve
scheduled the event. You’ll need to consider everyone’s schedules around
school, extracurricular activities, and religious commitments. It’s important
to place your four-hour party strategically so that you can meet these needs
and attend to any potential complaints from neighbors and strict parents.
13-14-year-old teens are
still building good sleeping routines so it might be a good idea to situate their
parties between 6pm and 10pm. Setting a 10pm limit will also give you plenty of
time to drop kids back off at their respective houses if you are providing
transportation.
Most 15-16-year-old teens
typically have their high school schedules established and can probably gather
from 8pm-midnight
While teens older than 16
can adjust to later hours, they shouldn’t start their party any later than
10pm. You don’t want to be kept up all night or receive any complaints from
anyone in the neighborhood.
Limits
Teens have shown that four
hours is just long enough for everyone to have gone through the stages of
excitement, getting into discussions and activities, and creating lasting
memories without feeling constrained to a short limit. You can enforce these boundaries
in the invitation itself, with a soft reminder during the event, and a
definitive departure announcementfor your guests at the end. Establishing a
four-hour limit will allow you to time to prepare, cleanup, and still feel like
you’ve accomplished your goal of hosting a successful party.
Limit
Spending for a Great Party
While you want your teen to
enjoy themselves and set a good impression, you also want to keep the cost of
this party within reason. There are plenty of venues, food ideas, and
activities for you to explore that will help this gathering stand out from a
typical hang out.
Budgeting
After you’ve finalized your
guest list and coordinated timing, it’s time to figure out how much money you
can afford to spend on this event. Bringing your teen into this phase of
planning is a good idea so that they’ll acquire an appreciation for the
monetary value of throwing a party and pitch in so they’re contributing to any
expenses.
If your teen doesn’t have a
source of income that would allow them to fund their social gathering, you may
want to consider setting the event outdoors with an activity that doesn’t
require any payment. Hiking, picnicking, or spending time at the beach can save
on costs so you can focus on food and drink. If you set your party in a venue
with admissions or a built-in cost such as a pool, a restaurant, a club, or a
theme park, you can limit your spending by paying for just your teen alone.
Inexpensive Food Ideas
Planning a menu for a large
group can be tricky because everyone has different tastes and preferences.
Another benefit of setting the guest list early can help your teen take not of
any dietary restrictions so no one is left out of the festivities. You can help
your teen plan a party with healthy food ideas to add a theme and stand apart
from prepackaged junk food.
Organizing a potluck can be
a fun idea to get everyone participating in the party. If everyone brings their
own food, you can keep the cost of your party in check while guests swap
recipes and diversify the cuisine of the group.
BBQ is also an option that
can be enjoyed in a public park or on the waterfront. Hamburgers and hotdogs
are a party menu staple that are easy to prepare and can also be swapped out
for vegan options.
Sandwich platters allow you
to layer portable, customizable, easy-to-make meals with everything from
vegetables to dessert ingredients. With sandwiches, everybody can get what they
want, and any leftovers can be stored later use.
Safety
As the host of the party,
you hold responsibility for the wellbeing of your teen and their friends. While
you and your teen assemble the guest list, it’s important to take note of any
dietary or medical needs as well as gender or racial disparities. Making sure
that everyone has access to and knowledge of necessary medical equipment and
feels comfortable is essential to any gathering.
Rules
To save yourself from any
damage to the venue or regrettable encounters, go over any rules you might have
early on with your teen and make sure that they’re clearly verified with each
of your guests. For example, you can communicate an understanding that there
will be consequences for anyone using drugs, alcohol, or treating anyone
disrespectfully. Penalties may range from asking someone to leave to notifying
law enforcement.
If your teen is allowed to
drink with their friends, you can take several steps to create a safe
environment. Hosting the party in an intimate space will allow you can keep an
eye on anyone in case of an emergency or if someone tries to sneak in drinks.
You can also control the amount of alcohol available by providing refreshments
with a low ABV (alcohol by volume).
Supervision
When you’re dealing with a
group of teens in a party setting, things can get out of hand with noise levels
or messiness. Call in for backup! Just because your teen has a bunch of friends
over doesn’t mean you can’t as well. You can spend this time with some of your
own friends or your guest’s parents, so the responsibility of vigilance doesn’t
solely fall on you.
You can also ask older
trusted neighbors, cousins, or friends of your teen to act as a chaperone. With
someone you know who can handle emergencies and safety, you’ll be able to take
it easier with an extra set of helping hands. Consider chaperones with
different genders, social backgrounds, and abilities so they can attend to
anyone with specific needs.
Transportation
Getting home safely can be
of concern to parents who are worried about teens driving while their tired or
under the influence of alcohol. In the planning stages, your teen can figure
out who is able to drive, who can commit to be a designated driver, or if
you’re going to be dropping guests off at the end of the night. You can also
supervise your guests’ exit to make sure that they are in good driving
condition and that they have everything they need to get home safely.
Author Bio:
Andy Earle is a
researcher who studies parent-teen communication and adolescent risk behaviors.
He is the co-founder of talkingtoteens.com, ghostwriter at WriteItGreat.com, and host of the Talking to Teens podcast, a free weekly talk show
for parents of teenagers.
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